Please consider a donation to our post-abortion ministry, Lumina.

DONATE TO LUMINA HERE

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The Sad Reality by Theresa Bonapartis

I might be one of the few middle-aged women who readily admits to loving reality TV. Sure, the petty arguments can get overwhelming at times, but I enjoy the peek into the lives of the wealthy and their often-chaotic worlds.

In a recent episode of TheReal Housewives of New York, two cast members opened up about having abortions when they were younger. Online, reactions ranged from applause for their bravery in addressing such a sensitive topic to sharp criticism, with some suggesting true courage would have been choosing to keep their babies.

Watching this, I felt a deep sense of sadness for these women. Whether they realize it or not, their conversation delivered a message that aligns more with a pro-life perspective than they might have intended. Women who have abortions are often silent victims—just like the babies they choose not to carry. Yes, one could argue that these women had a choice, but their unborn children did not. Yet, even for the women themselves, is it truly a free choice when society has conditioned them to believe their lives will be irreparably damaged by having a child at the “wrong” time?

So much for empowering women.

This episode underscored a painful reality: women don’t simply "get over" abortions. The guilt and sense of loss often linger for a lifetime. My experience in post-abortion ministry has shown me how profoundly these decisions can affect women—and men. Some women struggle to move forward, haunted by what might have been. Dreams of marriage, family, and happiness can slip away, replaced by regret and despair.

Abortion isn’t treated like any other medical procedure—because it isn’t. No one carries emotional scars for years after a broken bone heals. But abortion leaves lasting wounds, ones that society encourages women to bury in silence. The clinics and doctors collect their fees, offer little to no emotional counseling, and send women back into a world that often reminds them daily of the life they chose not to have.

Pro-choice advocates often frame abortion as a path to liberation, but it feels more like psychological manipulation. Women are pressured to believe their happiness hinges on not having a baby. Men are coached to be silent, told that it’s solely the woman’s decision. And so, three silent victims emerge: the baby, who loses its life; the woman, who often loses her peace; and the man, who feels powerless and alienated.

Going back to the episode of The Real Housewives of New York, perhaps sharing their stories is the first step toward healing for these women. Speaking openly about their experiences may begin to chip away at the walls of silence and isolation they’ve built around their pain. It’s possible that by opening up, they might come across a ministry like Good Counsel’s Lumina and finally find the compassionate support they need.

Lumina exists precisely for moments like these—offering a safe space for women (and men) to confront the unresolved emotions that so often follow an abortion. Through retreats, counseling, and peer support,Lumina provides a pathway to healing, reminding those in pain that their past does not define them and that forgiveness and peace are within reach.

Maybe these women will realize they don’t have to carry their burdens alone. Perhaps they’ll discover that countless others have walked the same path and have found hope and restoration through ministries likeLumina. This could be a turning point not only for them but also for countless viewers who relate to their stories and have silently struggled with similar feelings of guilt, grief, or regret.

Let us hope that by bravely sharing their stories, they inspire others to seek help and healing, ultimately leading them to the transformative power of ministries like Lumina. After all, healing often begins with a single, courageous step.

Please consider a donation to our post-abortion ministry, Lumina.

DONATE TO LUMINA HERE

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